RizE Freakonomics

Eventual Gap

2009-12-09T02:26:00.003+08:00

The mystery of love,
Nothing hits you until something left you.

Love @ first sight, or wrong on hindsight.

The only memory I had of you was the hugs that we shared every time we met and the kisses we made out every time we part. And the Sunday lunch that we shared so ever religiously.

The first kiss flew into me and the last kiss that flew away from me.

Tried not hard enough or had had enough.

We did not leave a way out for both of us.
We just wrote our history in a pathetic lorry.

Baby goodbye take care.

Nonsense.

2009-11-28T16:11:00.002+08:00

I am pissed. Why someone can be angry at me because I agreed to breakup ? My fault to begin with ? Love is never about wanting / changing that someone to suit u. Acceptance comes before love. If anger is the solution, then someday the mirror maybe all thats left.

Relationship is never about wanting to change that person for better good.

What better good is there ? Whose guidelines ? Who makes the rules ?

Nothing is ever enough, take take take take take change change change change, give give give. I gave u received, i gave i took.

Assuming what I will do and going to do will lead to nowhere.

Curiosity and paranoia dun go in SYNC, they are different.
Loving and possessiveness are dissimilar in characteristics.

I may not be the perfect someone for you to devote all my time to you but please bear in mind that I have things to do, errands to run, work to perform. You know, you saw, you understand what I do and still thoughts can go wild. Stories get meaty ...

I love you can only go so far. 3 words I can never believe in.

The perfect Christmas gift AN IPhone can only cost so much efforts and sweat, at the end of the day .... Christmas is just another overrated holiday.

Missing Entitity

2009-11-24T03:55:00.002+08:00

Looking back on this one year, it taught me tons of things.

Tolerate, tolerate, tolerate, be nice, be nice, be nice ...

But when it comes to crunch time people take it for granted that u will cave.

Passion drives me, love soothes thee, Anger kills love, Dismissal finished thy ties.

Nothing else matters when it comes to love, dun wait for the inevitable, raise on the prevention. Imagination comes from one's brain thru assumption and perception of reality henceforth that moment. No one else can stop that image flowing through those thoughts. I will relinquish my fate on this relationship to whatever and whomever makes those thoughts a reality.

No judge will be able to withdrawn that sentence, appeal will only increase the agony. Since the time is up, just serve them.

My love ended on a Sunday when someone else resurrects a Sunday my soul died on a Sunday.
What salvation, its blasphemy.

Inevitable

2009-11-22T22:26:00.002+08:00

The day have come.
Its over.

2009-09-22T21:29:00.002+08:00

I cannot accept reality nowadays.

As I sit behind the steering wheel, memories blown thru these thin skulls of mine.

It only struck me that so much has been lost, so much time and days lost on someone so dearly to me. Late nights ride home, supper, movies, quarrels, loving, kisses, tantrums and even lameness all shared within that Toyota "sports". I cry as I look at that empty seat beside me. For I chosen solidarity, I brought this upon myself. Why ?
Why ? I cannot comprehend at all ... U chose to hurt me in the worst way ever. ijhfawi9yht890waegusrhg'askdjgl'sadgkl;ansgan Till

I ponder on my pride and logic, does it make any sense. Do band aid hurt when torn apart quickly ? Answer yes, the pain is excruciating and u curse urself for tearing it BUT why hurt urself in the first place.

There are only so many things I cannot tolerate. She broke it, so much that I dun wanna even see her. But in reality, I miss her sooooo much. I cry at nites when I read her smses. I will uphold my principles and pride.

She's out of my life
She's out of my life
And I don't know whether to laugh or cry
I don't know whether to live or die
And it cuts like a knife
She's out of my life

It's out of my hands
It's out of my hands
To think for two years she was here
And I took her for granted I was so cavalier
Now the way that it stands
She's out of my hands

So I've learned that love's not possession
And I've learned that love won't wait
Now I've learned that love needs expression
But I learned too late and

She's out of my life
She's out of my life
Damned indecision and cursed pride
I kept my love for her locked deep inside
And it cuts like a knife
She's out of my life

The Veil of Mystery.

2009-09-16T01:27:00.004+08:00

Somehow secrets can only be so much tight lipped.
Messages and words can be misleading.
Actions can deter thinking.

There are only so much one can hide. A crack in the foundation will cause the whole buliding to collapse. How much is there to hide?

I cannot fulfill the cracks in your heart neither can I be the one to cure ur heartaches and depreciation of certain value in yourself. I am just not the person to it.

Be it a friend or a foe, nothing will be able to decipher the confusion I have within this flesh heap.

Smoke I had once again, the smoked filled lungs somehow relived the tension within these ribs. For you I broke the fast, the fasting of ciggys. Like all the others in the past, that meant closure.

Somehow I have decided, will it be unfair ? Or will it be my unwillingness to end this or will unreasonable be a fighting point ?

No one will know for I knew what you did this summer. Something I brought upon myself when I unveiled the paradox from a certain Samsung Machine.

Liz was what you were referred as. None of this matters like when I said do whatever but never never get caught.

Dont do the crime if you cant serve the time : Joey Tribbiani, Friends

Past Present Future.

2009-05-25T10:48:00.002+08:00

Title can be misleading at times so do words and feelings.

I have been very very angry recently easily agitated by lots of factors and reason unknown. Things that were taken ever so lightly were no longer a bypass of the brain. Something triggering my brain over simple things.

Hidden agendas !!!

Be open, stay alert.

2008-10-29T01:31:00.002+08:00

>.<

作詞：方文山作曲：周杰倫

妳的回話凌亂著在這個時刻
我想起噴泉旁的白鴿甜蜜散落了

情緒莫名的拉扯我還愛妳呢
而妳斷斷續續唱著歌假裝沒事了

時間過了走了愛情面臨選擇妳冷了倦了我哭了
離開時的不快樂妳用卡片手寫著有些愛只給到這真的痛了

怎麼了妳累了說好的幸福呢
我懂了不說了愛淡了夢遠了
開心與不開心一一細數著妳再不捨
那些愛過的感覺都太深刻我都還記得

妳不等了說好的幸福呢
我錯了淚乾了放手了後悔了
只是回憶的音樂盒還旋轉著要怎麼停呢

妳的回話凌亂著在這個時刻
我想起噴泉旁的白鴿甜蜜散落了

情緒莫名的拉扯我還愛妳呢
而妳斷斷續續唱著歌假裝沒事了

時間過了走了愛情面臨選擇妳冷了倦了我哭了
離開時的不快樂妳用卡片手寫著有些愛只給到這真的痛了

怎麼了妳累了說好的幸福呢
我懂了不說了愛淡了夢遠了
開心與不開心一一細數著妳再不捨
那些愛過的感覺都太深刻我都還記得

妳不等了說好的幸福呢
我錯了淚乾了放手了後悔了
只是回憶的音樂盒還旋轉著要怎麼停呢

怎麼了妳累了說好的幸福呢
我懂了不說了愛淡了夢遠了我都還記得

妳不等了說好的幸福呢
我錯了淚乾了放手了後悔了
只是回憶的音樂盒還旋轉著要怎麼停呢

原谅我

2008-10-07T06:17:00.000+08:00

Sorry, I can't not now.
Mind too much to handle.

原谅我萧敬腾

请不要分了以后还记得亲吻过的承诺
你的永久已不属於我
默默低头那时我很多话梗在喉咙

你的笑你的快乐不是我爱太多想太多
我能感受他比我适合
爱放了手我伪装冷漠比你先说分手

请原谅我原谅我不成熟
不爱你是藉口好让你离开我
请原谅我好想自私将你占有
一个寂寞就给我承受换你过更好的生活

请不要分了以后还记得亲吻过的承诺
你的永久已不属於我
默默低头那时我很多话梗在喉咙

你的笑你的快乐不是我爱太多想太多
我能感受他比我适合
爱放了手我伪装冷漠比你先说分手

请原谅我原谅我不成熟
不爱你是藉口好让你离开我
请原谅我好想自私将你占有
一个寂寞就给我承受换你过更好的生活

爱过恨过哭过也笑过
亲吻过你的脆弱
其实我比谁都要懦弱

原谅我必须假装爱错
别让时间倒流我怕说不出口
原谅我没有解释太多心痛
别无所求彻底忘了我爱原来要舍得
我难过
我才懂

李圣杰-擦肩而过

2008-07-01T03:17:00.001+08:00

李圣杰-擦肩而过
飞叶在线放飞心情

我爱着谁
爱到我有点醉
告诉我你是谁
能够把我让我变不对
你不会累
但我却爱你爱得好累
从没有为了谁
不顾安危付出一切
站在这平衡点
我还是觉得有点危险
或许是看不见
只能够靠感觉
他不会是个好男人
也不会是个好情人
你对我说我们只是擦肩而过
好的男人有那么多
少了他的日子也能过
我不会再让你寂寞
也不会让你更难过
你听我说要好好学着去生活
就算未来有多少错
至少还有我的问候
我的温柔陪你度过

你听我说
你不要这么做
你不要看着我
说你已经知道怎么做
你很难受
我愿意陪你一起承受
只要你不怕痛
再多坎坷我都陪你走
站在这平衡点
我还是觉得有点危险
或许是看不见
只能够靠感觉
他不会是个好男人
也不会是个好情人
你对我说我们只是擦肩而过
好的男人有那么多
少了他的日子也能过
我不会再让你寂寞
也不会让你更难过
你听我说要好好学着去生活
就算未来有多少错
至少还有我的问候
我的温柔陪你度过
他不会是个好男人
也不会是个好情人
你对我说我们只是擦肩而过
好的男人有那么多
少了他的日子也能过
我不会再让你寂寞
也不会让你更难过
你听我说要好好学着去生活
就算未来有多少错
至少还有我的问候
我的温柔陪你度过
就算未来有多少错
至少还有我的问候
我的温柔陪你度过
~~end~~

Single means available.
No more letting go.

蒲公英的约定

2008-04-21T03:10:00.000+08:00

小学篱笆旁的蒲公英
是记忆里有味道的风景
午睡操场传来蝉的声音
多少年后也还是很好听
将愿望折纸飞机寄成信
因为我们等不到那流星
认真投决定命运的硬币
却不知道到底能去哪里
一起长大的约定
那样清晰
打过勾的我相信
说好要一起旅行
是你如今
唯一坚持的任性
小学篱笆旁的等待的心
是记忆里有味道的风景
认真投决定命运的硬币
却不知道到底能去哪里
一起长大的约定
那样清晰
打过勾的我相信
说好要一起旅行
是你如今
唯一坚持的任性
一起长大的约定
那样真心
与你聊不完的曾经
而我已经分不清
你是友情
还是错过的爱情

-.-

2008-04-21T02:58:00.001+08:00

-.-

Sick and Sick of

2008-03-26T08:11:00.004+08:00

Cigarettes u cant live without them. Damn those withdrawal symptons.

Screw it I am falling sick regularly, nose runs like its chased by a sick dog.
Fever comes and go. I need nicotine but I am off it for like 1 month and 3 weeks. Its now or never.

Turn 25, nothing changed. But yet its time to contribute to Singapore grow status be someone. Someday it will come.

Still single and crapped lol.
Apparently staying single is not within my mind. Wtf.
Seriously need to investigate this part of my life.
Hahahahh maybe its the person i am waiting for i should inform. Period.

Anyone needs IT help on Computers =D, Virus, Slow pokes, reformat Spyware.
Meet da Killer of Nonsense for Computer aka RizE
Please please come minimal fee charged !!!

The Path to Absolut

2008-03-17T06:36:00.002+08:00

Cigarettes began when I grieving over someone that I lost and I started quitting once that pain got over. To prove that Gals are nothing I started smoking.

LOL somehow or rather it continued for 7 fark donkey years. Just when I started quitting for 10 months I suffered another stroke LOL. That ciggy buddy came back to light up my life.

NOW, its time to get rid of this nonsense in da body.

Its now 1 month and 12 days as we speak.

Screw ciggarettes !!!!!!!!

Too Tuff Too Puff !!! Glory to Gurmit and Glory Glory To Manchester United

Screw Roma and Ciggies !!!

Road to Ciggy Free.

2008-02-15T03:40:00.002+08:00

Seven Days since I last puff. =D

.

2007-12-04T21:03:00.000+08:00

Thanks guys, its time that this should end.

Goodbye

Sure

2007-12-04T18:57:00.000+08:00

I dun have to explain myself anymore.
U can enjoy urself in thinking that I owe u a living.

Nothing I did was good even enough
I did everything I could.
U were always giving urself a reason to hate me.
That's not my fault.

Apologizing all the time,
U chose to taunt and make noise over the fact it happened over and over again.

I cant be looking and taking the blame for everything and anything that bothers u,
if anything that related to me bothers u remember its not ME.

I look myself in the mirror and wonder why am i so miserable?
I got partners pointing fingers at me saying its my fault and i have u on the other hand saying its everything done by me.

I have nothing nothing i can wash my hands off.
Just stop and go ba.
Being nice, maybe its no longer my cup of tea.
Chose to believe that I made the biggest mistake in my life in that stupid game.
Its not its just a game.
U chose that in a game a decision made by all, its my fault?
U never though of wadeva i did for ya and wadeva we ever did.
Its u who determine who is at fault a not me.

I DID NOT EVEN TALK TO YA IN 3 WEEKS.
U ARE STILL GOING THRU THAT EVENT OVER AND OVER AGAIN.
WHEN ARE U GOING TO REALISE THAT ITS NOT MY FAULT.
GO COVER THIS EVENT WITH EVERYTHING ELSE.
30 mins to CANCEL EVERYTHING I DONE FOR YA.

I HAVE DONE EXPLAINING MYSELF.

WHY EVERYTHING ON ME

2007-12-04T16:24:00.000+08:00

WHY EVERYTHING ON ME
WHY EVERYTHING ON ME
WHY EVERYTHING ON ME
WHY EVERYTHING ON ME
WHY EVERYTHING ON ME
WHY EVERYTHING ON ME
WHY EVERYTHING ON ME
WHY EVERYTHING ON ME
WHY EVERYTHING ON ME
WHY EVERYTHING ON ME
WHY EVERYTHING ON ME
WHY EVERYTHING ON ME
WHY EVERYTHING ON ME
WHY EVERYTHING ON ME
WHY EVERYTHING ON ME
WHY EVERYTHING ON ME
WHY EVERYTHING ON ME

Sleepless week

2007-11-30T07:41:00.000+08:00

Havent been sleeping well, so much things on hand and so much nonsenes to solve.

Finally, another one. Another child has born. GG.

Stay tuned.

__________________________________________

Curse of Silence, the quieter it gets, the more painful it becomes.

Random Thots

2007-11-29T16:30:00.001+08:00

Sometimes its worth just to feel sad.

Missing Actions

2007-11-28T07:18:00.000+08:00

I guess after yesterday, It might be time to act on things that are not happening.

Efforts will be made to clear this mess up.
Not you gal, but the people with ya week in week out in that compeitition.
If I am brewing some battle, lol, the war had already been over, being a good person and straight forward in a navie way people tend to step all over my head. I will take a stand. Dont make me go that distance. My trust lies with people who can take secrets and give me honest feedback to my actions and character. I dun plan nonsense i am the nonsense.

So no need to look further I am here.

Apparently, FJ and YF even her have since able to do that.

___________________

Coldest look, I dun exist ?

___________________

A duck walks into a bar ...
The Bartender was like ^.0 wtf is a duck doing here,
And then the duck quaked, "Hi, do u sell grapes?"
Bartender exclaims that this is a bar and dont sell grapes.
The duck the left the bar

---- to be cont`d

=.o

2007-11-27T08:41:00.000+08:00

If u chose to believe whatever there is somehow somewhere it aint has nothing to do with me.

I hate politics and nonsense. Simply because it destroy the very humane in everyone.

I wanna set this clear and sit down and talk to everyone involved in this shit that is surrounding me. Stop thinking i am planning some disaster, screw it, nothing has to be said and done by me. I have 101 issues on hand, allof you are just playing free lan I dun have to constitute to ur nonsense equation. Dun put me in a situation to veto whatever nonsense i have to offer. Put more knives in my back i will make sure it return the damage the way it comes.

__________________________________________

I am just another good man living in a practical society.
Being that there are things that I cannot make everyone happy.
Being that I can only sit and endure whatever that is thrown at me.
No one loves the "Black Pot" [Hei Guo] someone has to carry it.
I am not the world nor the overruler of everything.

Clan is clan,
Biz is Biz,
Personal is personal.

People dun understand that logic.
Simple logic,

U dun eat and shit where u sleep,
U dun shit and sleep where u eat,
U dun sleep and eat where u shit.

Nothing else can come into this equation.

____________________________________________________

爱情树
张智成

我不要你在我身边
却看着蓝天
不看我的脸
我但愿你快乐的飞
将来要相爱
都还有时间
风开始在吹
孤独好直接
爱最苦的是不能相依偎
然而我会等着你你
回来的季节
我的爱情是一棵树
永远不会离开一步
风雪多残酷
我想我挺得住
我的生命是一棵树
只愿成为你的归宿
我义无反顾
守护你是最大的幸福
最深的温柔是成全
我张开双臂
任凭你来回
最痛的时候就思念
扎了根的心
不可能撤退
风开始在吹
孤独好直接
爱最苦的是不能相依偎
然而我会等着你
回来的季节
我的爱情是一棵树
永远不会离开一步
风雪多残酷
我想我挺得住
我的生命是一棵树
只愿成为你的归宿
我义无反顾
从日落到日出~oh~
我的爱情是一棵树
永远不会离开一步
风雪多残酷
我想我挺得住~oh~
我的生命是一棵树
只愿成为你的归宿
我义无反顾
守护你是最大的幸福

=(

2007-11-25T19:38:00.001+08:00

I miss this someone, quite a bit and every much.
Have to force myself not to think of it.

I just had a crazy idea of doing whatever is on that wishlist.
Just to have a smile on that face.

_______________________________________

Just smile cause at least theres one less person whom u hate exsist in your life.

Story of a reckless driver.

2007-11-23T07:03:00.000+08:00

I was travelling down Sembangwang Rd yesterday when this motorist came swerving into my lane and jammed brakes ...

Guess wad did i do. ROFL i accelerated and did a last mintue change of lane to the right and this old man driving that cock civic in front of me started to curse and swear when i swerve back into the lane all these happening when I was on the phone.

I realize something, Singaporean drivers are all farked up. Honestly, they dun give way to people who wanna change lane and worse still they speed up to show you that LOL keep in line. Has anyone thought of what will happened if you jammed the brakes on the highway ... THE VECHICLES BEHIND YA had to do that to, this brake will cause the traffic to slow down at least for the next 5 cars at peak hour. zzz, no single fark Singaporean realize wtf is a chain reaction... THATs why the bloody PIE is always jammed up by frustrated mofos. These doesnt add to the fact that idiots that see the traffic police will SLOW DOWN even though they are travelling at 70km/h on a 90km/h speed limit highway. Please start thinking with your brains not the fines. ...
One more thing if you are travelling on the Singapore Latest Highway, KPE, rememeber its just a tunnel not a 'highway' ... 70km/h is CRAP. might as well travel on normal roads.

__________________________________________________

Someone hates me, it over.

Make me wonder

2007-11-22T05:09:00.000+08:00

I was trying to find that song that make me remember how i fell in love the previous time. No single song can actually remind me of that.

Do this to yourself, start listening to those songs you been listening for that period of your life that has past. A Breakup, a loving period or when u are travelling. A song will definitely remind you of someone something somehow.

Now i found that song ! only struck me when i hear it on radio the other day.
That was that song. Up there on the title.

zzz Looks like theres no going back for me, even killing oneself wun not have redeem anything for me in her. zzz, thats how much she had in me. Maybe i broke it, Maybe she broke it. I wouldnt know what and how to expect certain things to resurface. Nevertheless, I am sure there is no me in her for there past exact one week of silence. Ever since I hanged up that phone and cough till I bled in the nose [Dun ask me why coughing will induce nose bleed] there has been no contact no see no hear no touch no pinch no scratch no smell no nothing. Maybe seen her pics and maybe more in the brain.

Frustations distorted her image in me. Nothing seems to be going well in work or studies needless to say personal. Zzz terrible month for me, nothing is going well. Except being happy on 6th november but i think only someone is happy from that at 5am. Everything else seems to crumble, DotA has been nonsense, facing disband, facing team annilation, Stupid Exams, nonsense from people i work with, fines, domestic disputes, financial sergegation,dead leg, insomonia, flu, phone disorder. ...

I can whine and whine over one hundred and one nonsense maybe someone can cheer me up. Thats only you. .s*cr

Spare.

2007-11-20T07:50:00.000+08:00

Wow, fixed up a new computer table and rearranging my room.

Goose new air-con, new computer table.

Hehehe, Guess wad i fix up another PC. Gaming PC.

ROFL. From all the spareparts I had from all the nonsense places u can find.

Now there are 2 desktops =D.

_________________________________________________

Shes back. I missed her. But I .... zzzz

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Missing Element

2007-11-19T17:07:00.000+08:00

I am missing a certain element in life thats making me think and staying happy.

Somehow this past week aint as nice.

Bad things happened at a go, somehow or rather.

Exams, Blames, nonsense.
Guess one can only be there for himself.

________________________________________________________

I gotta wait til december to see my happy medicine.
The one only person that can turn my sad face to a everlasting smile for that few hours.

Meanwhile its time to finish my papers ...

Stuck

2007-11-18T23:39:00.000+08:00

Guess theres nothing else I can do anymore,
Having to do everything for someone and be there for someone aint something I do for anyone. You are the person in my heart maybe it may only stay that way.

Nothing I can do to make u feel better,
Even thought theres nothing in my power to achieve certain things.
I care about you more than you can say WAD.
I am sad, angry, desperate, torn, tattered maybe all this wasnt a good idea.
_______________________________________________________________________________

I am no wish to assiocate myself with this organisation anymore.
Make me a leader, point finger at me to get things done.
Things get done wooooooo this is great lucky WE did this.
Things get bad wooooo why did YOU do this why didnt YOU do that?

Things get done because of me,
THings are running because pple like me care,
I dun have to take responsibilities for decisions that I did not make.
Important decisions I have to go through 101 people.
Important decision U ALL make dun have to go through me.
Screw it ... go do whatever U ALL DEEM necessary.

Pain of Being in a Team

2007-11-12T17:55:00.000+08:00

Sometimes it takes so much to realise that the team we are holding on to is not complete.

Just one strayer will ruin us all.

It takes 5 to crush and 1 to kill us all.

_______________________________________________________

Feelings again ?
Doubt so ...
Maybe so ...
Only when

...

2007-11-10T22:13:00.000+08:00

The Pain of being in a team
_______________________________________________

Cheer UP Gal wadeva is bothering u.

=D

2007-11-10T06:08:00.001+08:00

Maybe this would be nice for us.

The way this is going.

Nice and still nice.

Reality and Time

2007-11-07T10:40:00.000+08:00

if i could turn back time,
i would have travel back to the day when that alphanumeric page that asked
"Can I Love U?" and admitted that it was me.... that very faithful day this day many many years ago.

___________________________________________________________

The Mahjong Master of my family has passed on.
The person will taught me mahjong and showed me the powers of a mahjong player
has passed away. I will continue his legacy.

My Granduncle somewhat a grandpa to me. Sigh.

He will be remembered for as long i sit on the mahjong table.

Only when the moment is gone u regret it for the rest of your life.

Guess it has been my case always. Unable to cherish what is important to me..

____________________________________________________________

Cruel Fate Unknown Destiny.
Missing Link Uncertain Paths.
Eluded Past Everchanging Future.
____________________________________________________________

Life

2007-11-05T06:41:00.000+08:00

I think I am not putting my time into good use.

Maybe its time to quit DotA and concentrate on something else.
There are things like studies, biz and more biz even girls that require more attention.

I need to find my motivation again.
Time to restart my engine all over again and make it all work again.

One is always not enuff.

Anyone wants more LAN SHOPS?

___________________________________________________

Kisses were beautiful, sweet, sentimental.
Who doesnt want them?
I know I want them.

Life

2007-10-30T07:21:00.000+08:00

Sometimes its just the small gestures that made pple smile.

Loving ya the way it is.
_______________________________________________________________

Its time to raise to the occasion again.

________________________________________________________________

IT or Field Fort

2007-10-26T04:20:00.001+08:00

Lecturer: " Gentlemen, OH Ladies, Tell me what is Information Techonology? "

Students: " hmmmm. "

1` min later.

Aussie Man we call a lecturer," Now its simple, Its Called Technology of Information we preceived.! "

Students: " hmmmm , ^&%$*^@(&$), Scuffles in background, NNB, SMLJ, KNN, .... SI ANG MOH ... !!!"

Mr Ang Moh, "By the way, dun call me Si ah moh."

Fark =.0 I wonder why I am going to take a degree with this clown in front.

Now at least proved me his programming is unstoppable.

That immediately make me think of something else my Master Sgt Boris Leaw once taught when I was a Combat Enginner.

"GENTLEMEN, LISTEN TODAY WE ARE TALKING ABT FIELD FORTIFICATIONS. THERE ARE 2 TYPES OF FIELD FORTIFICATION. PERMANENT AND TEMPORARY FORTIFICATIONS.", " NOW WHAT IS PERMANENT FORTICATION ?"

.... U Guess.

_________________________________________________________________

Word has it.

2007-10-24T04:06:00.001+08:00

I cannot tolerate nonsense.
Things I have done arent being appreciated
I understand things are just the way it is sometimes person cant change
no matter how much they try, the factor is always imbued in them.

There are so much factors in this project thats making me wanna quit,
the only thing thats stopping me from quiting is my 2 brothers who are with me all these while. Ups and down, conflicts, nonesnse decision.

I cant even get a head start on the things that went wrong.
The once-a-month put downs, fire extingushers, taunts, negative views
has done its part. I have had it up to where I am now.

Much has been produced, granted I have been taken.
Dont give me the attutide that I owe u that sum of money, I dont.
Efforts has been made, work has been done, hours have been put in.
People call this home now.

Views vision projects ... As long as it does not sound nice its over.
The same way I might just end this, over.

Lovely Reminisince

2007-10-23T05:06:00.000+08:00

Years passed somehow those moments brought me back to the time when we were young.

Love somehow was plain sweet pure, moments and dreams of those did done are always in my heart.

That very sentence, nearly brought my heart back together. I felt waves of warmth.

Fate was cruel,
But I always believe destiny is one`s hand.
This Love will never be forgotten.
Its kept somewhere in another parallel universe where another set of us lived happily ever with tiffs and fights, kisses and hugs, tempers and nonsense.

At least I knew that you knew.

Revivial

2007-10-13T07:32:00.000+08:00

_________________________________________________

__________________________________________________

歌手：张宇专辑：男人的好

到后来才发现爱你是一种习惯
我学会和你说一样的谎
你总是要我在你身旁
说幸福该是什么模样
你给我的天堂其实是一片荒凉
要是我早可以和你一刀两断
我们就不必在爱里勉强
可是我真的不够勇敢
总为你忐忑为你心软
毕竟相爱一场
不要谁心里带着伤
我可以永远笑着扮演你的配角
在你的背后自己煎熬
如果你不想要想退出要趁早
我没有非要一起到老
我可以不问感觉继续为爱讨好
冷眼的看着你的骄傲
若有情太难了想别恋要趁早
就算迷恋你的拥抱
忘了就好
要是我早可以和你一刀两断
我们就不必在爱里勉强
可是我真的不够勇敢
总为你忐忑为你心软
毕竟相爱一场
不要谁心里带着伤
我可以永远笑着扮演你的配角
在你的背后自己煎熬
我没有非要一起到老
我可以不问感觉继续为爱讨好
冷眼的看着你的骄傲
若有情太难了想别恋要趁早
就算迷恋你的拥抱
忘了就好
爱已至此怎样的说法都能成为理由
我在这样的爱情里看见的
是我们的软弱
我可以永远笑着扮演你的配角
在你的背后自己煎熬
如果你不想要想退出要趁早
我没有非要一起到老
我可以不问感觉继续为爱讨好
冷眼的看着你的骄傲
若有情太难了想别恋要趁早
就算迷恋你的拥抱
忘了就好

Chocolates

2007-10-05T00:53:00.001+08:00

Cass Bought me chocolates .!!!!

NICE ....

Thanks Cass. =D

Btw work properly, dun ... discredit me ...
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
"我爱的人"

我知道故事不会太曲折
我总会遇见一个什么人
陪我过没有了她的人生
成家立业之类的等等
她做了她觉得对的选择
我只好祝福她真的对了
爱不到我最想要爱的人
谁还能要我怎样呢
我爱的人不是我的爱人
她心里每一寸都属于另一个人
她真幸福幸福得真残忍
让我又爱又恨她的爱怎么那么深
我爱的人她已有了爱人
从他们的眼神说明了我不可能
每当听见她或他说「我们」
就像听见爱情永恒的嘲笑声

Resurgence

2007-10-04T02:07:00.000+08:00

What will someone do when he/she see the one u love with someone else.

I smiled.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
"我爱的人"

我知道故事不会太曲折
我总会遇见一个什么人
陪我过没有了她的人生
成家立业之类的等等
她做了她觉得对的选择
我只好祝福她真的对了
爱不到我最想要爱的人
谁还能要我怎样呢
我爱的人不是我的爱人
她心里每一寸都属于另一个人
她真幸福幸福得真残忍
让我又爱又恨她的爱怎么那么深
我爱的人她已有了爱人
从他们的眼神说明了我不可能
每当听见她或他说「我们」
就像听见爱情永恒的嘲笑声

Bear And Rabbit.

2007-09-28T04:59:00.000+08:00

Bear and Rabbit are good friends, mates and buddy.

One day,

Bear and rabbit goes together on a bowel trip.

After doing so,

Bear cant find a decent leaf.

Bear asked,"Hey dude, mind any shit on your fur?"

"Its okie.",Rabbit Chirps.

So the bear wipes with da FUR.

___________________________________________________________

Courtesy of Jordan @ GG.

Silence

2007-09-27T03:45:00.001+08:00

___________________________________________________________

___________________________________________________________

安静

歌手：周杰伦

只剩下钢琴陪我谈了一天
睡着的大提琴安静的旧旧的

我想你已表现的非常明白
我懂我也知道你没有舍不得

你说你也会难过我不相信
牵着你陪着我也只是曾经
希望他是真的比我还要爱你
我才会逼自己离开

你要我说多难堪我根本不想分开
为什么还要我用微笑来带过
我没有这种天份包容你也接受他
不用担心的太多我会一直好好过
你已经远远离开我也会慢慢走开
为什么我连分开都迁就着你
我真的没有天份安静的没这么快
我会学着放弃你是因为我太爱你

Irony will never go away

2007-09-25T10:08:00.000+08:00

People Change, Time Changes.
I just wondered how things around me changed so fast as I was blinded these past few months.
Days passed months left time evolved.

I regretted my time was not cherished,
I cursed that my heart broke,
I hated myself for making that wrong move,
Jeopardised my happy being and lucky life.

People dont cherish things unless they lose them,
I did not cherish the faith that people put in me,
I lost a hell lot of them,
I never repay the faith they had in me,
I kinda put them to anguish.
Life still has to go on.

She lived in my life,
I had her in my arms,
Nothing could bring back her,
Neither could the faith they had,
I would want her back,
But i wouldnt want the faith to diminish.
Irony but its not the way its perceived,
I will live my life knowing that I screw up on this.
Should have seen it coming,
The stop was silent but loud,
Empty but fulfilling,
Nothing comes with without a gain.

I betrayed myself,
It broke again,
What doesnt kill ya,
Always makes u stronger,
I am stronger than yesterday,
More Experienced than yesteryear.
Nevertheless the heart died once again.

__________________________________________________________

I was sitting on the railing of Parklane's MacDonalds,
The next thing I knew was a thud,
There I was on the Ground,
Joshua the Pusher Quek .... NicE

___________________________________________________________

___________________________________________________________

安静

歌手：周杰伦

只剩下钢琴陪我谈了一天
睡着的大提琴安静的旧旧的

我想你已表现的非常明白
我懂我也知道你没有舍不得

你说你也会难过我不相信
牵着你陪着我也只是曾经
希望他是真的比我还要爱你
我才会逼自己离开

你要我说多难堪我根本不想分开
为什么还要我用微笑来带过
我没有这种天份包容你也接受他
不用担心的太多我会一直好好过
你已经远远离开我也会慢慢走开
为什么我连分开都迁就着你
我真的没有天份安静的没这么快
我会学着放弃你是因为我太爱你

2007-09-21T08:00:00.000+08:00

Something felt amiss today,
Something empty,
I dunno why.

Been to town yesterday,
Wow the female population seems to be HUGE ... !!!
LOL

OMG Katong Needs to have gals around more.
Other the CASS DAWN TAMMY ASTA* and JY JASMINE CYN

Lovely as it seems,
Beautiful as it felt,
Sweet as it smells,
Rose still bear thorns

The Barrier of Strangeness has emerged,
Letting go will be the only thing to do.

Phoneix

2007-09-19T06:05:00.000+08:00

From the Deaths, I come.

RizeN from the dead back to reality, need to refresh where I left from.

I made a wrong decision to fall in love at the wrong time.
I shall pick up from where I left off and move on.

Being avoiding certain things that will put me into that quicksand,
Nonetheless no regrets ...

________________________________________________________

Now back to reality ...

I need ideas to improve Gaming in Gaming Giants. Anyone Has Any Ideas ?

PM me or Shout it in 'Box Up'

_________________________________________________________

Wrong doings are not wrong,
Bad things are wrong,
Right things cant be right,
Good things cant be wrong,
So which is wrong ...

Anyone ? Can aNsWeR that ?

WGT LOSERs

2007-09-08T06:58:00.000+08:00

Damned WGT losers...
Boring la....

Someone help me...
CAPL ...
_________________________________________________
曲:曹格词:阿丹邬裕康编曲:涂惠源
雨
不停落下来
花
怎么都不开
尽管我细心灌溉
你说不爱就不爱
我一个人欣赏悲哀
爱只剩下无奈
我一直不愿再去猜
钢琴上黑键之间
永远都夹着空白
缺了一块就不精采
紧紧相依的心如何say goodbye
你比我清楚还要我说明白
爱太深会让人疯狂的勇敢

我用背叛自己完成你的期盼
把手放开不问一句 Say Goodbye
当作最后一次对你的溺爱
冷冷清清淡淡今后都不管
只要你能愉快

心有一句感慨还能够跟谁对白
在你关上门之前
替我再回头看看
那些片段还在不在

Studies

2007-09-06T17:17:00.000+08:00

Time to decide whether to go back to study a not.

Ever since i flopped my first semster, LOL i stopped studies.

I am changing to This. Zzz Degree just a piece of paper but without this we cant go far ....

_______________________________________________________________

Tomolo is WGT... This is maybe a swan song year ... no more competitive DotA.

Time to expand buisness at a shocking level. =D

Stay tuned.

Days Nights and Mornings

2007-09-03T05:28:00.000+08:00

Theres only one thing left to do ...

Be Strong. Tide will change Time will pass Words still mean the same whether they are strong or weak. A Hello will be nice. A smile will go a long way.

Days Passed Night Fell and the morning are always as irritating as the sun rize above to shine on my butt.

Silence can seem loud. Empty can be fulfilling. Sadness can be beautiful. Ignorance maybe just another way to understanding whats happening.

_________________________________________________________________

Yesterday, we celebrated YF's Birthday. The whole gang was around except Bagene Weirong Enwei Jackson.

Kevin Edwin Beng Fiona Ivy Kael Cai Lian Angus Qilin Wendy Alvin the Gang was Back at its Peak. West-Sided Style. LoL

__________________________________________________________________

Expect Changes within and outside of me. RizE will strike once more. ShinE is what I will be.

Guess things wont change.

2007-08-28T05:35:00.001+08:00

Glory Glory Manchester United On their First Win of the Season!

Busy Busy Busy. Gaming Giants Underground will be opened soon !!! Stay Tuned for their offical launch!!!

Lately things aint nice. Nonsense Virus attacks all over the shop causing network lags and issues. Anyone have ideas lol please advise.

Soccer I need some leads. Anyone for soccer ? !!! Please PM me.

Time for WGT after missing out on WCG. Watch it pple Team X3M is coming to hit ya.

CAPL, need to prove something also. =D.

______________________________________________________________________

Wash it here within me.

Words

2007-08-26T09:36:00.000+08:00

I look back and laugh about the tears i shed,
But does anyone noe that when I look back and think about the laughter we shared,
tears still flows.

Empty

2007-08-17T01:35:00.000+08:00

________________________________________

Like this.

Days Nights

2007-08-16T12:45:00.000+08:00

Days seems shorter whilst the nights just keep coming.

No sleep in enough,
Dreams aint helping,
Thanks Zhen.

... wait wait wait wait wait for the day to come.
when it all happens again.

Here in My Heart

2007-08-12T18:01:00.000+08:00

Guess i cant even be anywhere now.
Everywhere seems to spin a memory of ya.
From town to the east, that vert stretch of road down to that alley of yours.
The reminisce of everything that happened so sweetly just replayed itself over and over again.

Dreams aint getting better too,
Guess nothing is easy accept falling in love.

U seldom get someone to be able tell who impt he/she is to ya.
Relationships are a make of both worlds coming together.
Where both starts to explore one another's life and start living in it together.

I just had a funny dream,
I sent her off to australia and was so sad.
BUT next thing i knew i was at her apartment together with her.
LOL

It doesnt matter where you going,
If all it takes is 2 years,
anyone that loves ya as much as i do,
will wait. ... ...

The problem is ... will u give urself/anyone a chance?

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Wherever you are tonight girl
I'll see you in my dreams
Wherever I go tomorrow
You'll be here next to me

And though we are a world apart
I know you'll never be that far

[c h o r u s]
'Cause here in my heart
There's a picture of us
Together forever
Unfaded and unbroken
Wherever you are
Your love covers me
Forever more you'll be
Here in my heart

Whenever I miss you so much
It's more than I can bear
I won't cry, I'll just close my eyes
And know you'll be there

Your kiss and your touch
I'll never forget
'Cause you're as close
As my very next breath

[c h o r u s]

And though we are a world apart
I know you'll never be that far

[c h o r u s]

My heart

Somewhere Somehow

2007-08-11T09:13:00.000+08:00

Things happened for a reason,
Somewhere down the line,
That reason disappeared between us.

Having u reading through those words,
was against wad I believed in.
Nothing changed even though u read them,
so close yet so far apart.

Dang wo xiang qi ni,
zhe yi qie ren he ren dou wu ke qu dai...

Yao na de qi fang de xia?
Xiang Na Qi lai,
wei she mo yao xiang fang xia.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

This isnt goodbye even as I watch you leave
This isnt goodbye
I swear I wont cry even as tears fill my eyes
I swear I wont cry

Any other girl Id let you walk away
Any other girl Im sure Id be okay

Chorus
Tell me what makes a man
Wanna give you all his heart
Smile when youre around
And cry when youre apart
If you know what makes a man
Wanna love you the way I do
Girl you gotta let me know
So I can get over you

What makes her so right
Is it the sound of her laugh
That look in her eyes
When do you decide
She is the dream that you seek
That force in your life

When you apologise
No matter who was wrong
When you get on your knees if that would bring her home

Repeat chorus

Other girls will come along they always do
But whats the point when all I ever want is you
Tell me

Once Again.

2007-08-09T05:28:00.004+08:00

Love was never meant to be,
Will always leave u in my heart,
Be nice is my true nature,
Being Tough is practical,
All said and done,
Will not say anything abt love anymore to ya,
Even if we were to go out again.

The Song says it All.
________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________

Back For Good

I guess now it's time for me to give up
I feel it's time
Got a picture of you beside me
Got your lipstick mark still on your coffee cup
Got a fist of pure emotion
Got a head of shattered dreams
Gotta leave it, gotta leave it all behind now

Whatever I said, whatever I did I didn't mean it
I just want you back for good
Whenever I'm wrong just tell me the song and I'll sing it
You'll be right and understood

Unaware but underlined I figured out this story
It wasn't good
But in the corner of my mind I celebrated glory
But that was not to be
In the twist of separation you excelled at being free
Can't you find a little room inside for me

Whatever I said, whatever I did I didn't mean it
I just want you back for good
Whenever I'm wrong just tell me the song and I'll sing it
You'll be right and understood

And we'll be together, this time is forever
We'll be fighting and forever we will be
So complete in our love
We will never be uncovered again

Whatever I said, whatever I did I didn't mean it
I just want you back for good
Whenever I'm wrong just tell me the song and I'll sing it
You'll be right and understood

I guess now it's time, that you came back for good

...

2007-08-08T07:05:00.000+08:00

There are days when u are alone and u wished that u have someone to go back to.

Out of all the partners i have in biz have gf, only me. Damn. Screwed up shits.

Guess I am just that. Never good enough to be a fun bf maybe a good husband.

Maybe someday someone would want me, I hope she does though.

LEft her with something precious, I dunno what it may bring.

I wished someone would come along and take my heart away leaving it in peace.

______________________________________________________________

_______________________________________________________________

Print: Mariah Carey - One Sweet Day (feat. Boyz II Men) Lyrics print version

Sorry, I never told you, all I wanted to say.
Now it's too late to hold you. '
Cause you've flown away, so far away.

Never, Had I imagined, yeah, living without your smile.
Feelin' and knowing you hear me.
It keeps me alive. Alive!

And I know you're shining down on me from Heaven,
Like so many friends we've lost along the way,
And I know eventually we'll be together.
One sweet day.

Picture a little scene from Heaven.

Darling, I never showed you.
Assumed you'd always be there.
I took your presence for granted.
But I always cared
And I miss the love we shared.

And I know you're shining down on me from Heaven.
Like so many friends we've lost along the way.
And I know eventually we'll be together.
One sweet day.

Picture a little scene from Heaven.

Although, the sun will never shine the same, I'll
always look to a brighter day.

Yeah, Lord, I know, when I lay me down to sleep,
You'll always listen, as I pray!

And I know you're shining down on me from Heaven,
Like so many friends we've lost along the way,
And I know eventually we'll be together.
One sweet day.

And I know you're shining down on me from Heaven,
Like so many friends we've lost along the way,
And I know eventually we'll be together.
One sweet day.

Sorry, I Never told you, all I wanted to say

...

2007-08-05T18:09:00.000+08:00

...

Time.

2007-08-03T23:04:00.000+08:00

As i look back on this month, its a crap month.
Having my wallet stolen from under the very nose of mine is one thing,
Having my phone lost today is also crapped to a certain extend,
But the one thing I cared about is you.

The silence is unbearable,
I wanna understand ya,
Love ya,
Cherish ya,
Make u a part of me that I am proud of,
How much u may never noe.
Cause all u do is run away the moment it struck ya.

Its just something that i asked and u blocked me of of ya life.
All I could think of was ya,
even though that phone of mine was gone,
my mind wasnt about the lost phone,
was abt the you that i have lost.

Gimme a chance to cherish ya the way u cherish W,
Gimme a chance to love ya the way u love S,

_________________________________________________________

想你是临睡的习惯

寂寞是临睡的习惯
习惯是一个人守着
冰冷的床和烟灰缸
没有你的孤单
想你在这样的夜晚
打开窗吹着冷风
故意把灯关上
试着想像你笑的模样

不懂我的爱在你生命中
占据多少份量
让你哭泣却是我心深处最痛的伤
最残酷的惩罚

i will never try to break your heart
我不愿这样
让爱情不由自主
陷入一场
两败俱伤的战
i will never try to break your heart
我真的不想
再面对没有你的寂寞夜晚
烟雾迷茫的孤单

Meaning

2007-08-03T10:08:00.000+08:00

It dun have to take much sometimes to make one sad/happy only takes someone u love to do something even a little gesture to smile/cry. U make me smile and frown somehow both at the same day. At least u gave me a little smile and talk to me yesterday. Alls for now as the arm is aching and time to reach suntec, I am late. Reply my smses gal, I will wait ...

__________________________________________________________

男:转身离开认真说不出来
女:你有话说不出来

男:海鸟跟鱼相爱只是一场意外
女:海鸟跟鱼相爱只是一场意外

男:我们的爱争议一直存在
女:我们的爱一直存在回不来

男:永久真爱竟累积成伤害
女:等待经历几次伤害

男:转身离开认真说不出来
女:你有话说不出来

男:蔚蓝的珊瑚海错过瞬间苍白
女:蔚蓝的珊瑚海错过瞬间苍白

男:当初彼此不够成熟坦白
女:你有我的不够成熟坦白不应该

男:热情不改笑容隐藏不来
女:见爱笑容勉强不来

爱深埋珊瑚海

Sleep Less

2007-08-01T11:54:00.000+08:00

As I lie sleepless, thinking of ya ....

Memories of happiness starts to flow ...

I cant sleep,
I just cant breathe,
when ur shadows lay all over me ...

Peek her from afar,
admire her from distance,
Flowers are meant to be,
Hug her with love,
Shower her with concern,
U are the one I wished.

amist all that happened and done,
I just ... suddenly left with nothing.
Just nothing ...
So what If I have Love,
In the end,
its the same my heart just shatters,
the way someone shattered yours.

__________________________________________

_________________________________________

我知道故事不会太曲折
我总会遇见一个什么人
陪我过没有了她的人生
成家立业之类的等等
她做了她觉得对的选择
我只好祝福她真的对了
爱不到我最想要爱的人
谁还能要我怎样呢
我爱的人不是我的爱人
她心里每一寸都属于另一个人
她真幸福幸福得真残忍
让我又爱又恨她的爱怎么那么深
我爱的人她已有了爱人
从他们的眼神说明了我不可能
每当听见她或他说「我们」
就像听见爱情永恒的嘲笑声

Desecrated

2007-07-31T06:11:00.000+08:00

I wish I can go back in time whenever I want,

All the irritation that can be caused onto u to be undone.

If I love u enough, I would have travelled all the way to fix ur love with him.

Thats how much I can and will do.

__________________________________________________

Gal, I have been at the wrong place and at the wrong time.
Nothing can match that,
still dunno me by now?
I maybe the nicest guy u will ever noe and at the same time the most cock fella u will ever encounter. Thats how I describe myself.

Whatever U are doing is killing me slowly ...

Little by little, the same way someone else did ....

S M C R

2007-07-29T16:22:00.000+08:00

Do u actually remember who I am?

Or did u ever forget the things we did?

What did we have together?

I am sitting here wondering if u did see my eyes were brown,
Calling me so sweetly that its music ...
Whether the ice cream taste better or izzit having u together with me
So much ...

Where to now?

2007-07-28T21:02:00.000+08:00

From
Crush
Liking
Missing
Feelings
Love
Tired
Sick
Anguish
Hate
Reminisce
Regret
Finally
Relinqush

Cycle to destruction?
Or izzit in the game of love where it all matters.

__________________________________________________________________

I dunno why sometimes I cant hold back on certain things that I knew by saying them it will screw it up. Maybe its because I do cherish U much. I never will wanna risk everything neither would I wanna lose ya.

Whats worth if u are leaving soon?
Whats worth me doing all this?
Cos I dun wanna live my life with regrets.
I dun wanna see u at the airport and cry because i never said the words i meant do the things I wanted to.

It would take S + W + J to bring me down and out from you.
Thats how much U meant to me.

__________________________________________________________________

歌手：周杰伦专辑：j Ⅲ

(头文字d电影插曲)
词:方文山曲:周杰伦

后视镜里的世界
越来越远的道别
你转身向背
侧脸还是很美
我用眼光去追
竟听见你的泪
在车窗外面排徊
是我错失的机会
你站的方位
跟我中间隔着泪
街景一直在后退
你的崩溃在窗外零碎

我一路向北
离开有你的季节
你说你好累
已无法再爱上谁风在山路吹
过往的画面
全都是我不对
细数惭愧我伤你几回

后视镜里的世界
越来越远的道别
你转身向背
侧脸还是很美
我用眼光去追
竟听见你的泪

在车窗外面排徊
是我错失的机会
你站的方位
跟我中间隔着泪
街景一直在后退
你的崩溃在窗外零碎

我一路向北
离开有你的季节
你说你好累
已无法再爱上谁
风在山路吹
过往的画面
全都是我不对
细数惭愧我伤你几回

我一路向北
离开有你的季节
方向盘周围
回转着我的后悔
我加速超越
却甩不掉紧紧跟随的伤悲
细数惭愧我伤你几回
停止狼狈就让错纯粹

____________________________________________________________________

Thoughts

2007-07-26T14:29:00.000+08:00

I wanna start to stop missing her.
I dunno how she feels, I dunno how she is.
Maybe nothing, maybe happy as hell

Sometimes I just wish that I am the only one, selfishly.
Picesean. That bad?

To miss someone is agony. Dun never go miss someone makes u do and think stupid things. I cant concentrate to sleep. I been like waking up over and over again this morning just not to think of her.

Dreams are a part of our consciousness, is that why she is always appearing in my dreams. Be it bad or good, nightmare or lovely ones.

Maybe someday she will understand and let go of the things she want in guys.
Cause there's already one complete so near here.
No one is perfect but maybe I can learn.

The irony is the more I want U,
The further U get,
The close I get to U,
The closer the impending flight to down under approaches.

Just wanna spend the rest of the 4 months with ya as someone special.

I tried so hard and got so far,
In the end,
Maybe it doesnt matter anymore.

Gal, have u realise something,
wadeva u are going through,
I am going through it on the same way as u do.

=D

2007-07-24T16:25:00.000+08:00

Days comes and goes like its a norm.

I have having some loveliest time I have.

She's always having this lovely aura within some that I would wanna explore.

She's jumpy nowadays better not anger her.

Had the loveliest weekend with and without her,
Spend like 2 hours on the phone just chatting with her =D
Went clubbing together.

________________________________________________________

Nearly pissed her off just now when she was in a bad mood.

Heres something to cheer u up gal.

Rabbit and Bear are good friends.

One day, they went to the toilet and shit together.

After doing their routine, bear ask rabbit: " U mind some shit on ur fur?"

Rabbit replied:"No, its okie"

Bear instantly took the rabbit and wipe his arse clean.

END
_________________________________________________________________________

Words

2007-07-16T17:52:00.000+08:00

Words do play apart in our everyday life.
Sometimes they matter whether are they for fun or for the sake of saying things.

A simple Gd Morning can cheer a person up.
A simple Hi can last a long way.

Seems like words dun get across or well received at times.
But it does matters.
___________________________________________________________________

Someone disappeared from my life these few days.

I miss ya.

I apologize for waking u up again.

___________________________________________________________________

=D

2007-07-14T17:09:00.000+08:00

2 Weeks Past since my last post,

Life been pretty nice with her in it,
Somehow things are moving along quite nicely.

I just hope that things will be smooth.
Zzz just hope things will be fine

_________________________________________________________________________________

Lovely Weekend

2007-07-01T14:52:00.000+08:00

Bowling is Great. Anyone wants an early christmas turkey?

Tower DefensE Non - Warcraft !!!

=D

2007-06-28T00:09:00.000+08:00

Nothing else can take away these moments.

Words does matters

2007-06-19T03:42:00.000+08:00

_______________________________________________________

...

2007-06-15T15:09:00.000+08:00

Wondered why sometimes words cant get through to people at times.
Had a lovely game with cyn nam jy siang dotrk.
Fall in love with potm nowadays, EAT MY STUN !

I still miss her. Her lovely smile :D.
I misssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss U.
I really wanna talk to ya again properly like before.
I cant sleep.

Tell me how, before you leave by july.
Else I will regret this for the longest time.

When Glasses are made to be blurred

2007-06-15T07:25:00.000+08:00

What have I done to warrant a ignore from someone.
Not just anyone, someone I love.
Can I make things right, I dun think I can not that I dun want,
I am afraid to do so.

Making things right would mean trying to appease someone.
It has not brood any wellness within those thoughts and actions these past 2 weeks.

I saw her today, I am afraid to look in her eyes.
Afraid for that coldness will ache my heart even more.
Thats why, i never speak/look to ya.
I did not speak to her, I regretted.
As I wave goodbye to her back, somehow I am sad.
I saw the 2 boys walking beside her and I envied them.

I saw her smile whilst playing, a sight I really really missed.

Nothing else changes it,
If u are happy without my presence,
Stay happy,
at least I am frustratingly unwillingly contended.
_____________________________________________________________________

It doesnt pay to be nice.
But nice doesnt mean theres nothing to pay.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Here in my heart,
Theres a picture of us,
Together forever unfaded,
Ever we are a world apart,
I know that U will always be in my heart.
______________________________________________________________________

Thanks Fiona
Thanks Niki
Thanks Clonic
Thanks Tim
Thanks Fateppd
Thanks Cass
Thanks ShericaLei

Time

2007-06-13T15:18:00.000+08:00

Maybe I fell in love for a reason, someone decided that its time for me to fall in love again. As usual something bad turns out ...

The time I sat and think about her and the time i tried not to think of her where almost synchronized. The moment something remind me of her i spent exactly as much to try to stop think about her.

These questions I asked and asked. None came back to me.
She left that very questions flat from a question mark to a full stop. .
Someone else came and conquered or she decided it over.
There must be a reason behind all these.

IF I could have turn back time, I would still fall in love with you gal.
I spent the almost happiest days of my life for those days we spent together, it had been almost a few years since I felt so.
The only thing I might have change is me.
Because I was the idiot that happened to not know where to stop whether is it in love or with you. Or was it ya all along. ...

"What are you going to do?", Missy asked, "Wait for her, Give it up ... ?"
I replied her I said i see where my sprained knee takes me. I replied jokingly but apparently she sternly replied and said take the harder why out.
I was struck out of the sudden.
None of those are easy, both will kill me little by little.

Does my feelings matter to her anymore?
Her cold treatment has been a little warmer of late but it aint gonna warm me up.

Just hope that my tears will flow the way it should be.
My heart just had its new tatoos.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

______________________________________________________________________________

I can't sleep,
I just can't breathe,
when your shadow is all over me, baby.
Don't wanna be a fool in your eyes,
'Cause what we had was built on lies.

And when our love seems to fade away,
Listen to me - hear what I say...

I don't wanna feel the way that I do,
I just wanna be right here with you,
I don't wanna see, see us apart,
I just wanna say it straight from my heart:
I miss you...

What would it take for you to see?
To make you understand,
that I'll always believe (always believe)
You and I can make it through,
And I still know I can't get over you.

'Cause when our love seems to fade away,
Listen to me - hear what I say...

I don't wanna feel the way that I do,
I just wanna be right here with you,
I don't wanna see, see us apart (see us apart)
I just wanna say it straight from my heart:
oh, baby I miss you, I do...

'Cause when our love always fades away,
Listen to me - hear what I say...

I don't wanna feel the way that I do,
I just wanna be right here with you,
I don't wanna see, see us apart, (oh no, see us apart)
I just wanna say it straight from my heart:
I miss you, I miss you, I do...

I don't wanna feel the way that I do (the way that I do)
I just wanna be (just wanna be) right here with you (right here with you)
I don't wanna see (don't wanna see) see us apart (see us apart, oh, baby)
I just wanna say it straight from my heart:
oh baby I miss you, I do...

Never

2007-06-12T04:48:00.000+08:00

...

after all that said and being done, theres nothing much I can do.
Wait? or not to wait. Carry on loving or start learning to leave.
I once told her if leaving her means granting her happiness I would glady do it.
Havent been a hit with that anyway.

"Snap out of it, stop being stupid, IT OVER, fark la", friends start to say.
I mean at that finishing line. Its me who chose which path I go down into the history books.

Falling in love had been a weakness to a certain extend.
Doesnt mean I am weak when I show my affection and emotions at times.

I realize something these few days, I been trying to talk to her but I forgot to listen to the words that she been trying to tell me.

Things I done kinda got into the wrong tune ... everytime I do something for her something else just keep getting stuck. Ever since mid may, I havent been talking to her. I havent been communicating well with her.

I never did wanna pressure, I never asked for more.
Being with ya is great, I had my share of sweetness and laughter.
I did asked and tried a little more that I should at times but wasnt received well so i backed off. I tried to appease ya when u are irritated or down.
I listened to ur woes and never disclosed them.

I fell in love with ya, mainly because I love the way u showed concern.
Ur eyes when u concentrate on my brown eyes, the way u ^&^#R when ur nail breaks, the little things u pay attention to when i talk to ya. The coke light and Ju Hua. No MILK. Noodles seaweed simpsons. The scratches of that of a cat. U are qutie irreplaceable. The times we shared were lovely, as much as I wanna tell more ... I know u wont be happy abt that. Did U ever think abt those day I had with ya.

What happened to those lovely days?
Maybe u found someone else. Maybe I turned irritating. Maybe i been thinking too much

The fact is ... I miss ya no one else can deny that.

Dun fill my life with you,
And rob me of you,
Just because u got tired of yourself in my life.
Missing ya took that very essence i had in life.

...

2007-06-11T04:19:00.000+08:00

Sorry is the word u hate but thats the only word to describe wads I mean.

Sweets, I did not meant to turn it against ya.

Reminisce

2007-06-10T14:49:00.000+08:00

Somehow or rather, falling in love in crap.
Drive u insane, makes u suffer for others, do things only to please others.
Frustrate urself because of others.

Story comes recently, a girl i fall in love with, started some campaign to ignore me.
Starting blaming things that werent even of my knowlegde to my arse.
Block me out of her world for no apparent reason, hanged up my calls, gave me the coldest look when I walked past. Because of nothing.

Not all in this world wants something just because they cannot have them.

Despite that all I can think of her were the lovely memories I had with her, love sucks doesnt it. To think I started to grow out of that and swiftly fall into that hole again. Girls dun come and go in my world they live and stay within my world as for you gal, no one will understand ya if u dun let them.

As I walk her down the street last nite, her ignorance on me prove something to me, she has decided that I was the one to blame for everything shit she had been through this past june. I left halfway with my half busted knee struggling to keep up with her pace and partly because I was an idiot talking to a doll. Past the place we had dinner to the place and to the place we share sweet ice-cream and the pet shop that shows the ever lovely side of her.

Letting You Enjoy watching this soul suffer maybe the only last thing I would do for ya. I tried to make a difference but apparently someone already did that difference with a different agenda from mine. If you are happy with what u see, pls continue doing that because somewhere down the days, I just hope that someone like me did fall in love with ya madly even if you forget his name, face , character , voice that feeling will never change once someone falls in love, as I slowly turn invisible in ur eyes.

All I asked for was you.
______________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________

Thats WHY

Baby want you tell me why there is sadness in your eyes
I don't wanna say goodbye to you
Love is one big illusion I should try to forget
But there is something left in my head

You're the one who set it up
Now you're the one to make it stop
I'm the one who's feeling lost right now
Now you want me to forget every little thing you said
But there is something left in my head

* CHORUS : I won't forget the way you're kissing
The feelings so strong were lasting for so long
But I'm not the man your heart is missing
That's why you go away I know
You were never satisfied no matter how I tried
Now you wanna say goodbye to me
Love is one big illusion I should try to forget
But there is something left in my head

* REPEAT CHORUS

Sitting here all alone in the middle of nowhere
Don't know which way to go
There is so much to say now between us
There ain't so much for you
There ain't so much for me anymore

* REPEAT CHORUS

Scapegoated

2007-06-09T03:53:00.000+08:00

If I really catch that farker who posed as YF.
And talk nonsense to her.

Imma make sure his life is as miserable as mine.
Nothing more nothing less.

Great, now is nothing nothing nothing nothing.
My mood will be mad, sad, tad, fad.
What's all those. Dun ask else u will be treated like an adversary.
_________________________________________________

I never meant to hurt you baby
I didn't wanna cause you any pain
But you never knew how I felt now honey
And you know you didn't even know why
So I wanna put my heart in it's place
And I wanna be the person that you fell in love with
I've been told there'll be another
(or so they say)
But I guess never like the other
So I'll shed my tears and I'll face my fears
I've been told there'll be another

A cry for help will sound the same now baby
And I know that people just don't change
But I guess you can't hope
And wish they will yeah
So I wanna put my heart in its place
And I wanna be the person that you fell in love with

I've been told there'll be another
(or so they say)
But I guess never like the other
So I'll shed my tears and I'll face my fears
I've been told there's be another

So I wanna scream and tell myself it'll be okay
And in a final verse I'll tell you what I wanna say

I've been told there'll be another
(or so they say)
But I guess never like the other
So I'll shed my tears and I'll face my fears
I've been told there's be another

So I guess I'm still learning..
______________________________________________________

This song is at least 7 years old.
All I can remember was this was the song that got me through my longlongtime heartbreak.

Goose Song. But its all within one and how to get over it.
Mine may take awhile

Dinner

2007-06-07T12:29:00.000+08:00

Its great to see that smile again, her lovely scent her eyes ...
Somehow she as sweet as ever, good things dun last ...

I found myself frustrated and irritated her again, maybe I am not the one that irritated her initially but somehow it gets on and I am there wrong time wrong place.

Damn I should have been a striker instead of a midfielder lol maybe then I have practised the on time on target nonsense. In life there are certain things that we dont cherish when it comes.

I have lost grasp of her attention somehow or rather. Gals somehow love arseholes. Maybe I shuld be one, every single gal I knew like one. No one appreciates the good ones, its always the arseholes that counts.

I was reading all the msg we shared, somehow or rather it slowly become ... further and further away ...

I am strong enough to blog all these down,
Sometimes its not so much of being emo and losing it,
Its just a need to write all these down somewhere and keep them there.

___________________________________________________________________________

Its a simple thing and day after day I know more of ya,
Night after night U move further and further away.

Learning ...

2007-06-06T13:35:00.000+08:00

When Pain reaches a certain extend it just becomes numb.
The pain is still there but wont hit you till you are on the move again.

Trying to not call / sms is something hard to do.
Wondered why all these are happening.
Will it return to normal, will I never be seen again.

These past few days living a walking dead world without her.

____________________________________________________________________

I never meant to hurt you baby
I didn't wanna cause you any pain
But you never knew how I felt now honey
And you know you didn't even know why
So I wanna put my heart in it's place
And I wanna be the person that you fell in love with
I've been told there'll be another
(or so they say)
But I guess never like the other
So I'll shed my tears and I'll face my fears
I've been told there'll be another

A cry for help will sound the same now baby
And I know that people just don't change
But I guess you can't hope
And wish they will yeah
So I wanna put my heart in its place
And I wanna be the person that you fell in love with

I've been told there'll be another
(or so they say)
But I guess never like the other
So I'll shed my tears and I'll face my fears
I've been told there's be another

So I wanna scream and tell myself it'll be okay
And in a final verse I'll tell you what I wanna say

I've been told there'll be another
(or so they say)
But I guess never like the other
So I'll shed my tears and I'll face my fears
I've been told there's be another

So I guess I'm still learning..
_________________________________________________________________________

Time is an endless description of pain,
It only fly past or barely move on.

Dead

2007-06-04T15:44:00.002+08:00

I shall fark off ...
Just because of an sms thats written all wrong.
Nothing else other than you mattered but nothing else i did mattered to you anyway.

Goes for any other mofos who use this blog to shoot me. Thanks MOFOs ... Btw Fark U Mofos. Its not affecting your life when I am sad neither will it affect anything else other than me.

...

2007-06-02T23:18:00.000+08:00

I need a break off from this world.

Gaming Giants, DotA, Studies, Work, Business, Meetings.

In the day, its all about work and studies, in the night I retreat to the phone with her. Talking her to sleep, smiling at her cuteness, talking about her day, finding out more from her life and getting to her heart every day.

Now its all in nonsensical state, tearing seems stupid, but I did.

I fell in love with her, else i wont feel this way.
Nothing else mattered but her when it comes to love life.
Guess it just mine side of the story ... here I am telling her how much I love and miss her. There she was saying the same thing to someone else.

I fail terribly in this, hurt battered and pain.
I just spend 80 minutes staring in the blank and tearing motionlessly like what I felt the last time I fell deeply in love.

WTF... ... KILL ME. ANY ONE OF U MOFOS ease me off this pain.
__________________________________________________________

Sitting by the window,
Singing songs of love,
Wishing U were here because the memories not enough,
Wear my mask in silence,
Pretending I am alright,
If you were here then you will be here by my side.

It only happens in fairy tales.

Worthiness

2007-05-31T23:44:00.001+08:00

As I ponder that feeling within,
I asked myself, Is this worth going after.
To Chase after love or let it come naturally.
It was there i grasp that chance but now it seems that I am losing grip.

I just wished that things can be simple.

Love, why can mine and hers be simple.
Just nothing else.
The more I think the more frustrated I get within.
The more I try the worse it gets.

_____________________________________________________________________________________

I can see that you’ve been crying
You can’t hide it with a lie
What’s the use in you denying
That what you have is wrong
I heard him promise you forever
But forever’s come and gone
Baby, he would say whatever
It takes to keep you blind
To the truth between the lines

Words

2007-05-28T04:04:00.000+08:00

Love comes slowly and eventually thats what girls told me.

Falling in love somehow is fast and furious.
She asked me this, "Why are you trying so hard? Izzit because you are trying to have something u cannot have so that other wont have it?"

I was too tired to think then I cant remember clearly what did I answer but that has been on my mind since then. I miss her almost every other day, her smile and her smile.
My heart still race when she arrives, my face will show a smile when she appears, my eyes will still gawk at her no matter what she do. I realized something too, I really love her else I wont do all the things i did for anyone else.

She never speak about how she felt abt me. She never said anything abt me. She dun wish to talk abt us. I wanna noe more abt her everyday.
__________________________________________________________________

All my friends around me
Say you'll be gone too soon
Baby, I'm gonna make them see
We'll find our way back home.....

___________________________________________________________________________

Crying Out Silently

2007-05-25T03:01:00.000+08:00

Does love have to be this cruel?

It just struck me when Tim told me this. Dude, just let it go already.
I realized that I forgotten something I told myself. Stop falling in love easily.
Love wont be returned to you at all in this world nowadays.

I did not gave much love to my previously relationship because I knew exactly this will happen. Now that I gave and give I am sad cos it not coming back the way I wanted or imagine it will be.

So what if i love someone, she dont care. So what if i really bother abt her well-being she dun care. I miss her badly that every call, every sms, every msn nudge I hope its her, her her her her.

Why? ... Am I that weak. ...
As much as I want to take it slow, sometimes, I just wanna see and hear that smile and voice. I noe she is sick, just wanna say take care. Get well soon.

Tears stuck at the entrance of the pores, throat tighted at the sense of bitterness.

________________________________________________________________________

Blind

2007-05-20T19:53:00.000+08:00

Gazing into someones eyes, running into unknown territory.
Those eyes, innocent looks, lovely smile ...
Why cant I be the cat that haven open my eyes.

YF just told me wtf u look in her.
Sometimes its not what we see in pple, its how we feel abt one and other.
Me and Fate seldom talk at times but we are good friends.
Me and YF dun talk abt heart matters but we are buddies.
Its how u feel abt the people ard u. Actions talk louder than words.

I realize that Love is Blind.
Ironic but blindness has envision me to see that love is blind.

_________________________________________________________________________

Why I live in despair
'Cause wide awake or dreaming
I know she's never there
And all this time I act so brave
I'm shaking inside
Why does it hurt me so
... i dunno

... Pain

2007-05-19T17:16:00.000+08:00

Lifeless as I begin the day again.
Its a sick feeling.
To lose something that u cherish so much yet its never yours to begin with.

Wonder why am I such a pain?
Cos I am wearing her shoes, only that she's blinded with her own pain.
Nothing else matters,
Whatever she is doing for him is whatever I am feeling for her.
Whatever she is been treated like is whatever I am treated for.

I begin to sink back to where I started.
Guess nothing ever gonna be that way.
So what if I am in love,
So what if I really am sweet,
In the end, this fragile soul of mine,
Breaks like any other heart.

The Pain is excuriating internally.
Whatever else U taste even chocolate will eventually taste sour.
Aint it funny, that every other call that rings ... I hope its her.
I guess I just have to lose that hope.

Cried I had, now I am staring at a picture,
Crying outloud silently without tears,
This painful soul of mine will eventually evaporate into thin air.

Lost in direction,
I just dun wanna stay in this area no more.
That street down, the 7-11, that ave.
What else do I want?
Nothing else but her.

Heartening Blows

2007-05-18T14:25:00.000+08:00

I care so much about one gal who doesnt give a thing for me.
I try to understand all abt her.
Reach her slowly bit by bit.
Every single time I edge closer to her she just pushes me away.

Frustration ...
I am to confuse to talk anymore, been staring at ur pic and the lappy screen since i woke up at 1400 hrs. Its driving me crazy. the more i want u, the further u get. the more concern of ya the colder u get. i dunno wad i do to deserve this. all i noe that is i have fallen deep in love with ya.

Everything else was perfect till wednesday.

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And though she's so far away
It just keeps gettin' stronger everyday
And even now she's gone
I'm still holding on
So tell me where do I start
'Cause it's breaking my heart
Don't wanna let her go

Maybe my love will come back some day
Only heaven knows
And maybe our hearts will find a way
Only heaven knows
And all I can do is hope and pray
'Cause heaven knows

My friends keep tellin' me
That if you really love her
You've gotta set her free
And if she returns in kind
I'll know she's mine
So tell me where do I start
'Cause it's breakin' my heart
Don't wanna let her go

Maybe my love will come back some day
Only heaven knows
And maybe our hearts will find a way
Only heaven knows
And all I can do is hope and pray
'Cause heaven knows

Why I live in despair
'Cause wide awake or dreaming
I know she's never there
And all this time I act so brave
I'm shaking inside
Why does it hurt me so

Maybe my love will come back some day
Only heaven knows
And maybe our hearts will find a way
Only heaven knows
And all I can do is hope and pray

Maybe my love will come back some day
Only heaven knows
And maybe our hearts will find a way
Only heaven knows
And all I can do is hope and pray
'Cause heaven knows
Heaven knows
Heaven knows

.......

2007-05-17T21:23:00.000+08:00

..........................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

Can someone tell wtf did do to deserve this kind of nonsense that bestowed to me?

If U are not the one i want, then wad the fark am i doing ?

__________________________________________________________________________

Understanding takes time.
Love takes time.
Only leaving u will not.

2007-05-13T04:40:00.000+08:00

I just realize something yesterday.

Missing her and wanting her has taken alot out of me.
The more i think of her the more i miss her.
The more i adore her the more i love her.

Makes me wonder am i really that in love.
The last time someone returned a i love u was years ago.
That 'I Love U' made me felt so warmed somehow.
But my heart shattered from a whole to pieces time after time.

" Gal, Dun break my heart again, cos its only left a quarter of it from the whole i gave u. " I told her this, nevertheless it broken into half over and over again.
Letting go was never easy, falling in love is always beautiful.
That wound recovered slowly and bit by bit as it was put back together.
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I should learn to stop staring at her. =D
She sooo lovely even when she was giving me the cold stare.
I hear her saying that her friend's eyes were sooo beautiful but I can only say that those eyes are only second to hers.

Her

2007-05-08T07:13:00.000+08:00

I miss her.
I adore her.
I am in love her.

Running through the memories, shes been sweet crazy lovely emo caring cat
.... why cat ? cos cat scratches and meows

beautiful in her own way...

Cant seem to lose her in my dreams. Time spent with her seems to flow past me like water. Nothing can beat that feeling. Observing her from a distance, always not bother her when she is frustrated, trying every chance to catch her smiling. Melts me within to see that.

zzZzz, due to work and school schedule, I did not call her in the morning which I promised twice. No More ... Promises are not made to be broken.

Sometimes I wonder what does she feel abt me. As unconcerned as I am, something within my skull always asking me that question. Guess at the end of the day, I may still be RizE. Just RizE and only RizE. ... ...
______________________________________________________________________

What makes you different,makes you beautiful
What's there inside you, shines through to me
In your eyes I see, all the love I'll may ever need

You light up my day
Got your own kind of style
That sets you apart
That's why you captured my heart

2007-05-08T04:09:00.000+08:00

How You Are In Love

You take a while to fall in love with someone. Trust takes time.

You tend to take more than give in relationships.

You tend to get very attached when you're with someone. You want to see your love all the time.

You love your partner unconditionally and don't try to make them change.

You stay in love for a long time, even if you aren't loved back. When you fall, you fall hard.

How Are You In Love?

You Are a Sensitive Kisser

For you, kissing is a way to connect

And you need lot of care, attention, and privacy

It may take you a while to kiss someone...

But when you do, it's total fireworks

What's Your Kissing Style?

Walks

2007-05-07T11:11:00.000+08:00

I love walking her home.
Its a lovely experience, but somehow i will be staring at her most of the time.
Trying to digest her day, watch her eat her ice-cream, run at cockroaches(running at cos she runs towards them and jumps away), that lovely smile always appear there and then.

I am at wits end soon, love may turn to desperation. Like what happened to that Ms Koh quite a few years ago .... Took me that 2 years of forgetting her to do. zzz.

Do I need a committed relationship? Looking back at my last gf which I screwed up that relationship, i would say no at that point of time. Maybe that is why she is always saying that.T hen again I am always the cant be bothered one at times why am I sooooo crazy this time.
It will me not good looking enough i guess -.-' damn those cute boys.

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That damn bloody pasture is always greener on the other freaking side.
God bless those cows!

Love does not spend much effort,
Its just another crap feeling,
BUT its driving me nuts,
Nuts about you.

Bright or Dark

2007-05-06T18:51:00.000+08:00

Why does one shun commitment? This left me sleepless til 12 pm. As I lie there in my bed the sky went from darkness to light. My world went from lit to dim. Is there an answer to what I am looking for or am I just being going on without an aim.

Does love comes with commitment ? or does commitment comes together with love. What seems to be the problem here. ... Nothing from my head made sense.

Expectations, Disappointment, Being Controlled, Freedom all this will brood down to that eventual person u look to. Who will look to this when it comes to the start of the relationship. Unless theres a scar, deep one. I dun wanna noe or care all this but if its in u, I would wanna answer all this with my way. Expectations will appear, whether i make the cut a not its ur call never mine. Nights and days always seems short with her, even if its plain waiting for her the whole evening.

Guess its better to be an arsehole when it comes to gal cause good gals always end up with them.
I am an arse when it comes to friends, pals and assiociates. People always say I will be a good bf thru the years. Hate to love me, love to hate me, this will always stay within that very soul of mine.
Now is that a compliement or a passby remark ...

Why izzit always the wrong gal at the right time
right gal at the wrong time,
wrong gal at the wrong time,
Lovely gals never came at the right time.

____________________________________________________________________

Its that lovely face that I wanna see every day,
Its that lovely Smile that keeps one going,
Its that Meow and laughter that makes me adore u more,
Its that Crazy gal that leaves me nuts abt u,
nothing else matteRs, Only u.

has it a beginning,
has it an end,
if there no beginning,
and theres no end,
guess i am left in that hole for a long long time.

2007-05-04T04:43:00.000+08:00

Do you rather love someone deeply or be loved painstakingly. I always thought that love is the strangest thing to me but it seems i found the one to love.

Ironic how things can be, loving someone and having someone to love you more than you can imagine. Been a boyfriend or someone else's love can be a hard thing to do. Living without regrets can be a way to do this but having it to go through this way will lead to disaster. Having someone to spoil and someone to pamper to maybe a priviledge, One that a gal entrust you to.

I once turn a gal's advance down because I am afraid I cant love her more. Now I maybe facing extinction right in my face to that same very reason.

I never did kiss any gal that I dun like for that simple reason of not getting hurt.

Love means having to sacrifice and give wadeva to make the other happy. But aint love suppose to be beautiful. That leaning tower of pisa is one example, can love lean on one side and still survives apparently it does. No one in this world is perfect, only in one's eyes u will be.

___________________________________________________________________

I dun love u because I love u,
I love you because of what you are bad or good and what we going to be.

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Conflicts of Interest

2007-05-03T06:27:00.000+08:00

As days past, I wonder whats love and what makes things happened between lovers. Things dont come a one way portal. Even if u are alone in a room, a butterfly comes flying in that will change whatever course of route u may wanna take for that day.

Mine is a complicated issue here. Love sux, why do one have to fall in love with another. zzz, as much as i love her and as much as i not wanna love her theres no way ard this. People appear in your life for a reason, be it good bad, sadness or happiness ... She brought me everything except that very thing i wished for, her. My heart can only take so much, all i wish is a part of me can stay in that very heart.

Someone once told me she is heartless, but she does every other lovely things that make me fall deeper into her. Screw those fellas that broke her heart, i cannot heal those cracks and pain gal, i can only replace them with my love. Scars can never heal, wounds will.

For all we know, love is a vicious cycle. Wonder why sometimes a gal treat u the way she does? or a guy treats u the way he is. Simple. Ask the ex-latter, that will give u clearer picture why. Dun believe me? lol seek and u shall find the answer.

Just hope that time will be a friend of mine and not an enemy. Why? Only She knows.
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Many conflicts all over the place. For twice in this past week, i quarrelled with 2 of my close friends. ... zzz normally I am the stable one, why this time ard i twitched. I wonder why. ...

Stress maybe a factor, big factor. zzz time to take a break of shit and load.
Sorry my brothers ...
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That smile, if only i can see them every morning and every nite.
There wont be no other gal i will see upon.
That laugh, if only i can hear them every minute of everyday,
There wont be no other song i will yearn to listen to.

Loving Each Day. Fretting Each New One.

2007-05-01T07:08:00.000+08:00

I was browsing through some girlfriends with the beautiful Ivy when I realized something, something that struck me deep. The amount of time with her I realized that the last time I did so much for a girl was at least 4 years ago. That one gal that I loved so much and knew so long, yet I did not end up together with.

Its how it all started. The same situation, the same type of relationship, that same amount of silence when it comes to relationship, the same hope I have for that very gal I loved, the same feelings ... Another one appeared.

Now, The days and time I spent with her are lovely and sweet, attention is all I can give, love is all I can feel. The words I am afraid to say, the actions am afraid to show, the feelings I fear will come, the day will come when in the end .... IT doesn't matter when you are just another guy.

Each day I spent with her, I will cherish that moment. Each new day I fret and hope i will see her again.

I miss her everyday every also other minute when I am not concentrating on something else.
Her lovely smile, her sweet look and that irresistible smell ... What will happened if she leaves?
I fret that day ...

Have anyone wondered if you say I Love U to someone and those words does not return and in turn the gal leaves.... These words will come out when I am ready to brave enough to let u go.

Will my love be accepted or am I just another someone to replace with?

____________________________________________________________________

Takes Only A Minute To Develop a Crush,
Takes Only A Day To Like a Person,
Takes Only A Week To Love Her,
Takes A Hell Lot To Forget that very SomeOne.

As I wait thru my ears,
My heart weeps without tears,
Motions of tears,
Become my fears,
When will u, dear,
Finally let me come near???
____________________________________________________________________

Life's Tuff

2007-04-24T04:15:00.000+08:00

Wad happens when u actually start to IM , sms someone everyday and see her everyday.
I recently develop some feelings for this gal. We had lots of fun talking chatting playing games together, supper and nonsense.Exchange heart to heart conversations, spend quality time together, dinner together, watch her loveliness flutter in the walk home, keeping quiet and smiling awkwardly, her lovely scent and how she escape from the clutches of the King Cockroaches. =D I fell for her somehow. At first, i thought it was a crush but damn it wasn't. Its definitely something more. Love? or crazed feelings?

The time that we spent together was quite sometime since i had with another gal. Smiles were abundant those past week. I want it to develop into more and more days. From days to weeks and weeks to month and years, if only she understand or rather. I want her to stay in my life. If only I was the one in her mind. ....

At the end of the day, Life's Tough.
I Miss Her.
_____________________________________________________________________

Don't speak.
Don't say a word, maybe I won't remember the words I have not heard.
I see that you're in love, I know it's not with me.
But I don't want the truth to haunt my memory.

....

2007-04-22T05:06:00.000+08:00

Cant Even talk to her now.
Just cannot find things to talk ....

Damn, someone help. ... .. ...

IF

2007-04-20T13:36:00.001+08:00

If u knew wad i knew would it make a difference,
If u see wad i see would u know that i love u very much
If u hear wad i my heart says every nite, would ur heart bleed like mine
IF and Only IF

LoveSick

2007-04-19T05:13:00.000+08:00

I was chatting on the MSN with PinkSheep today.

Within less that a page, she diagnosed that i have something that guys always have...'LoveSICK'!
Heh, things began to start falling into places. At least i realised my position.

Miss I am,
Lost I will,
Miss The Smell,
Lost in the Smile.
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If my tears can pave a road to ur heart,
I would cry u a river.
If my eyes can see thru hearts,
I would give them to u,
And let u see wads in mine,
..... You, S.M.C.R , You.